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Our Ghosts vs the Orchid

by Broken Ceilings

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1.
I didn't perceive the nature of your true intent. You had me believe to trust you without limit. I'd never leave. You knew of my reliance, inspired full compliance. You betrayed me and I see it clearly. Drafting all my emotions for the battle that only I was seeking… Do you feel it coming? Did you see it coming? My head sends its best men but its allied heart's the weakest man. Battle of the broken body unfolds its hand for peace. I'd have to break the cycle somehow to guard against the liar. You left me alone. (I will never know for how long. Look at my eyes then my hands) Cries of distress, the summons to rescue. You could be the hero yet. Do you relate to my helpless state? Will you right this wrong? It's all in my head. The feeling I've lost this fight to give up the ghost and leave it all behind. Fire at will; the battle within, it will always be a stalemate. My head makes up illusions, keep jumping to conclusions. My body language expresses if I will be victorious; end this war inside myself. I’m reaching for your hand. I'd have to break the cycle somehow to guard against the liar. You left me alone. (I will never know for how long. Look at my eyes then my hands) Cries of distress, the summons to rescue. You could be the hero yet. Do you relate to my helpless state? Will you right this wrong? It's no comfort my fears begin to set. I’m all alone. Calling for help (my fears begin to set), raised the white flag. I’m tapping out! I’m tapping out! I’m all alone! (No) Calling for help! (Raise the white flag!) Raised the white flag, I’m tapping out! I’m tapping out! I’m all alone calling for help, raised the white flag, reaching for your hand. I’m reaching for your hand!
2.
Ghost 03:11
There's something lurking in the recess of my mind, and yet it seems so familiar in this place. I got this feeling inside my chest, the one that just won’t go. I try to think it off. Like to believed that it was solved. It it follows me everywhere like a ghost haunting, like a ghost wanting, wanting to be alive pushed itself into existence. Well not this time! Why do we let this thing harbor on our happiness? (I feel your touch) We want love, we want life, we want peace! Why do we let ghosts get in the way if they aren’t existent? (Your icy hand) They want love, they want life, they want peace! I wear my heart on my sleeve but can’t seem to open up. (I hear you whisper in my ear) I swear I’m comfortable. I want to say so many things but too afraid of the outcome. I'm seeing flashes and glimpses, incomplete visions. The last time I saw you I think I seen it too. It's not something new to talk about. We both knew. We knew what we were getting ourselves into. “We are in this together.” I’m sorry for trying! I’m sorry for wasting all of your time for something that we weren’t ready for! All the guilt built up inside of you, you don’t have to say it, I saw it in your eyes. The day it came crashing down the moon was full the tides were high. The tides were high. It flooded away. I should've never told you how I felt. Why does this one person still haunt me to this day? Just go away, let me be, I had a chance of happiness with someone new. Too close to them, too close to you, I’m sorry for all the pain that I put you through.
3.
A silent drive in the night, the road an endless segway from what hurts to nothing at all. I clear my mind, empty it all. Lose track of time, the miles go by. It takes me so far without making any progress. Do we all have these places to go when we can’t seem to think straight sometimes? Do we all just get in our cars and travel a far so that we can outrun all of our fears that keep us trapped in our cage? Grab the key. Start the car. Lost in our thoughts on these dark and foggy nights. I know I’m not the only one. I’ve been thinking about all of my mistakes and where the hell we went wrong. I just want things to work out; its funny how easy love blinds us all. I will drive alone with no distractions. Let the sound of the road ease my broken thoughts. The potholes I drive over remind me that everything will fail in time; it's no surprise. We try to patch it up with even more asphalt just to watch it all fall apart again. Whether it was weather that caused all the pain or you driving over the same patch again and again, but I don’t ever want to repave the roads. They hold too many memories. Why can’t we all just drive? I know in time the roads will be repaved and names will change. I don’t want to forget where we went to park and talk all night long. If I forget I don’t think I can live with myself anymore. I wouldn’t take it back for anything just know I drive at night for you. And at night, I constantly think about you. And at night, I just can’t forget about you. So when I drive, I will hum a song about you. So when I die, I’ll blame it on Dramamine.
4.
Light 04:14
Let there be light. I'm stumbling, groping in the dark, searching for a foothold, something to latch onto. I've lost my way in the dark. I've lost myself, a husk of a man. I can't find my way back to the light. I know there must be- there must be a way, a beacon to guide me home. If there's not a chance, then why would I be here? To suffer and wander aimlessly? Is it always a chore to leave the comforts we've known? Am I lost forever? Can I ever be restored? I think I've been this way before, but I can't decipher the shadows. It's all the same, so I'll leave it all behind and chart a course I've never known. Will you leave me alone when I need your light to guide me home? I've been too proud to admit I'm scared of the dark without you. I can't find anything in here. I'm coming so close to fear. What are we even searching for? Is there even any point for this? We're here at the end of the world staring face to face with death. Were you afraid when you saw the light in him? Did it catch your eye? Did it catch your eye? I never thought it was difficult. Shed light on this situation. I don't want you to think that you are the cause of my frustration. Am I lost forever? Save me! Light! It travels far, but I can't see it. I'm drifting further than it's reached before. It's searching; it's seeking. Your light is reaching.
5.
Wild Card 03:55
52 cards in my hand (deal them out). I know one of them is calling out to me. I know I can be anything. What is it that I want to be? It's hard to think (not as hard as you think), the possibilities they are all piling on top of me (there's not as many as you think). I can be anything, (I thought) I can be anything. Do you toss me out of the deck, viewed as useless before it even starts (you have no role to play in this winning hand). Or am I just used when I’m needed, taken advantage of, used for your own gain? After we are done do I go back too? Back to the box with the others? (I have the winning hand) Am I something different? I thought I knew... I could be anything! Searching for my suit in this lifeless world, I know it's nonfiction, I just can’t listen. Can I give someone my heart without them folding on me? I’m tired of feeling like I’m useless. I’ll make myself a king. I’m going all in. I have a full house of nothing. I’m not folding. Not just yet, not gonna give up. Even after everything in this world has left me in pieces I’m going to find my suit, I’m going to find my purpose. There's 52 cards in my hand and one of them is me. We play the hand we've been dealt never asking if the cards we wanted ended up somewhere else. If I had my way, I'd put the hand together, but the power to deal isn't mine. We play the game of chances, we've had them all in spades. We thought to fight the house. We called the dreaded raise. We bet on ourselves, we're all flushed out. The flop, the turn, the river, will they let us down? I can’t believe that I tried to change myself into something I’m not I just wanted you to admire me for who I am I am an awkward fool I didn’t mean for you to feel pressured I hope you know I understand I hope you know I’ll be waiting I’m not upset with you I don’t want there to be tension in the way we feel I know the ghost gone yet We still do not try We still do not try We still do not try We still do not try anything
6.
Save me from falling down into the depths of my own envisions. It all happens for a reason. You can see right through me but can you feel the inside of me? Do you feel it burning when I pass you? I know you do. Why do I even keep on trying? Do I like the feeling of dying? My insides are begging for you to come just a little closer. I'm ruined now. I knew you'd run away, and here's to hoping I can draw you back. I'm broken now. I watched you go away, and I'm so torn I can see nothing else. Now that you are gone I can’t on focus on anything. Do you feel me? Did you see me? I know if I stopped for a reason. Give me a real reason to stop trying! I love things I know I can’t have but I promise that will not stop me. Oh, It's never ending, the Battle of the Broken Body, I won’t stop for anybody. I just want this void to be filled, and I know you have the missing piece. It's no use without it. I can't begin to stomach any antidote at all. It pulls away in every direction. For what's missing there can be only one cure: Repeat everything. Fill the void. Repeat everything. Everything!
7.
We're standing on the brink, the edge of the abyss. We look out on what we see, destruction of the hope there used to be. You've seen the signs; the writing's on the wall. If you turn back, you may yet break free. If you fight this out, you're headed for a fall. No! My heart is failing. We cannot give up. We will overcome this feeling! So keep pushing forward. The head brings big artillery to storm across the body. We will win this war! I'm too invested, come too far to just abandon you. I'd rather lose myself than give up on you. These tired nights I spend alone. A voice calls out to me, "You, on the other side, can you feel the feeling of my insides as they bleed from this bloodshed war?" I can't think any more. Will my body respond faster so I can sign the treaty and end it all? We both are dying. We both are losing feelings. Please look at me and tell me everything is fine. And just lie. Please lie for me. It's fine. I'll just fake a smile. (This won't end well) You've told these lies to yourself and nothing's changed. Your situation's not improved. You've always known that this is how it's supposed to end. Now decide. It's fight or flight. I'm too invested, come too far to just abandon you. I'd rather lose myself than give up on you.
8.
Stalemate 01:33
This constant battle between my heart and my mind is something I can not run from No matter how hard I try to avoid it, surrounding myself with people I love, this feeling can not escape me It is no way your fault I feel this way, rather than one hundred percent mine, never knowing when and what to say things, not just to you, but to you more crucially. I will always be the one to mess things up… These songs have been tough to write mainly of the fear you might hear them, not because I am afraid to open up but I’m afraid of judgment. I know you aren’t one to judge but I do not want to be seen as an embarrassment to you or to anybody. The battle of my heart and mind every single night has left my body in ruins let alone those times when I heat up around you. Am I getting any better? Am I still an awkward person I will always be? Things like this I can not change, and I need to embrace myself for who I am. I feel like the ghost is gone. Oh god I know the ghost is gone. Why do we still even care? Now we are people who are afraid of judgment, letting these feelings get in the way of what can grow into something stronger. Why do we let the things that died in the past haunt us from our beautiful futures. You made me feel like something I never did before, cliche to say because the time was so short, but in that short time I felt like more. Embarrassed by this feeling now knowing you aren’t ready, and now the question that lingers inside my body is when will you ever be?
9.
Shell 04:02
These ghosts are hitting hard, tearing at the fabric that makes me who I am. I don't know who I am. I can’t take it anymore. The voices inside my head won’t leave me in peace. Just leave me here on the floor. Your loss has cut me right at my core. The bottom of this bottle holds how I’m feeling. Now it's time to stare at my ceiling. The only thing keeping me sane is the sound of the AC cutting in and out. You cut me in pieces, and that's how I'm feeling. There's no closure now, and I'm finding out I've fought enough of my demons. Is this really what I became? A pitiful man dwelling on nothing. Breakthrough my shell to express myself. Shed my skin so I can open up. Get up You dug your nails right into my own skin, carved your name into my flesh. I can’t cut it out with my dull knife. I can’t break through my hard shell. I found some comfort, I let my guard down. Made my way out of the shell that protects me. Totally vulnerable; collapse inevitable. Don't let my trust die. I know these words are cliche. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say. I promise to feel like more so I show everything that I wanted to be. You overthink everything even if you know it's going well. It's not a trap. You can find your peace. Ditch your heavy shell throw it out of the picture. Things might end well. With you it never occurred to me to let the danger pass me by- to let it pass me by. But now the threat is real; I haven't found a way around it yet. It's hard to say I'd see things differently back then. You say it, say you knew it. You can say you saw this coming all along. Where does that leave me now? Is this really what I became? A pitiful man dwelling on nothing that was even important. It was to me, maybe not to you. Do you all really think that I can forget that easy? Destroy my shell, cut at my skin. I don’t want to be tied down to all of these things. Break me down, build me up. I don’t want to carry this weight anymore.
10.
I'm asking an important question. You owe me an explanation. Leaving all my apprehension to know what you've been thinking. Don't tease it I haven't got the time. Learn a lesson, we need to fall in line. Perplexed, we're running out of time. It's not enough to leave these words unsaid. Waiting for an answer This conversation's not advancing, need to reset Give up hoping for something This conversation's not advancing, need to reset You let it rain over my face not sure why. Gave myself false hopes of everything I should of been. Why do I always fall for these beautiful things? I should've known that I’m a joke. You've got my admiration for you bordering (It's not your fault) on infatuation. (The message was clear) I can't tell if it's right or wrong. My reaction builds, this frustration fills my mind. (I just can’t get over you, I will not get over you.) My reaction builds, this frustration fills my mind. (I just can’t get over you, I will never be over you.) You held this over my head, you got everything you wanted. You know it's true. And everything, everything I gave I saw nothing in return. I always felt alone. I’m so stupid. Why did I fall for it again? It wasn’t your fault, I just wanted clarity. The message was clear and it's what I feared. I’ll probably be back some time again when the rain stops. Oh, please tell me when you’re ready. I’ll set myself up with confidence and I won’t let my heart eat me away. Not again, I just feel things more than others and I just don’t understand why yet. Can you feel it? A drop of rain falls, and it leaves me feeling a sense of remorse. Some of the best advice I ever gotten was from a friend who told me, that sometimes friends and relationships just aren't what you need them to be. Sometimes people just aren't what you need them to be in your life, and no amount of aggravation could change that. No amount of aggravation will ever change that. You're insistent, I'm unyielding. I became this, do you see it? You're insistent, I'm unyielding. I became this, Do you see it? Do you recognize? You're insistent, I'm unyielding. I became this, Do you see it? Do you recognize? I won’t try again This conversation's going nowhere, no more resets. I can’t make promises If I fail at trying then I fail at everything.

about

Broken Ceilings’ debut full-length, “Our Ghosts vs The Orchid" is a concept album where love is represented by "The Orchid." "Our Ghosts" represent all the things that get in the way of love. When you listen to the album, you won't hear much commentary about "The Orchid." Much like a black hole, its existence is known only by the empty space it leaves in the album. You will see tons of references to the "Ghost" and how it interacts with "The Orchid."

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released May 29, 2020

Written by Joseph Murphy and Tim Long

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Broken Ceilings Biloxi, Mississippi

Biloxi, MS
Post-Hardcore

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